Video

Spent a while going through all the footage I got this summer and put it into a film that attempts to document the essence of my experience this summer. Enjoy!

 
The River and Life on the Road from Bobby Voit on Vimeo.

Last Adventure

As the summer ends so does my time living on the road. Before settling down I went on one last adventure. I was fortunate to get to spend time in wild places tucked away in Idaho, Utah, and Northern California. I experienced a feeling of remoteness like no other as I traveled to far away trail-heads before spending nights in the snowy wilderness of Idaho and Utah.

The night I spent in the mountains of Utah was a hard one. On this mission, I hiked alone through valleys and up mountains in search of the beautiful lakeside where I would sleep. When you’re alone in the wilderness you must be alert to every change in condition. The moment I got to my camp spot it began to rain and I knew I was in for a long night. The storm beat down on the mountains with howling wind and frigid rain. I cycled in and out of sleep through the night as most of my gear became soaking wet due to the puddle accumulating in my tent. Through the fear and discomfort, I remained calm as I knew inner resistance wouldn’t help me. In the morning the rain had stopped and instead was replaced with six inches of snow. I made the decision to play it safe and leave the mountain early to avoid the threat of hypothermia. On my descent of the mountain I witness an ecosystem awaking from the storm. Bird calls echoed off the mountain walls, surprised deer sprung from their hiding places, and small mammal prints covered the freshly fallen snow. I was at peace within this beautiful valley and felt reluctant to leave. 

In California I met up with friends from the summer for the best river festival on the west coast. Hundreds of people congregate from all over the west for Feather Fest to enjoy a weekend of camping, kayaking, and lifestyling. Enjoying the river with friends from each part of my trip was the perfect way to conclude my travels.

Time moves forward and things change. The beauty of time lies in its finite nature. My trip is over and now I start my new challenge of settling down to city life in the pacific northwest. The summer has had an incredible impact on the way I view the world. The world isn’t as segregated as we think it is. It isn’t as hard to break your routine and venture into the unknown as we think it is. Everything is interconnected and if you’re open to new experiences the world itself will be your guide as it reveals the treasures it has to offer. As I reintegrate into society I won’t forget what I have learned. I’ll use this summer as a guide for my life as I move forwards. This won’t be my last adventure.

Cali/Idaho

Man

I set out on this trip to become a man. Becoming a man is no easy task, many never fully realize their manhood. In our world of conflicting societal pressures and natural instincts, the process of masculinity is vague and complicated. One must define their own view of man or become a pawn of a system conspiring to produce a manageable population. The only one that can empower an individual is one’s self, so that is what I choose to do.

            What makes a man? Purpose. Strength. Energy. Discipline. Confidence. Intellect. Pride. These are words that everyone knows. Until one experiences the true meaning of each of these words, they are ultimately meaningless. I can’t claim I know the full meaning of these concepts, but I know that I’m trying.

               Purpose is the most important. A man’s purpose is his compass guiding him towards the goals he hopes to achieve. Without a purpose a man is lost. Everyone has potential to build their own purpose. Once one’s purpose can be vocalized it can be acted upon. Through my travels I have confirmed what is important to me. At this point in time this is my purpose:

               Learn the nature of this world to provide for myself, follow my own path, and share my knowledge to better others. Ultimately give more to the world than I take. Get the maximum experience from living this short time on earth and connect with those I meet along the way. Challenge myself every day. Continue to learn and grow constantly; stagnation and submission to temptation are the enemy. Be a leader rather than a follower. Develop meaningful relationships. Support my family and loved ones. Give back to those who’ve supported me. Stay open, kind, honest, and positive.

               This is what I will strive for. I’ll go with the flow of life and adapt to my surroundings. I’ll take risks while being aware of the stakes. I’ll slip up and I’ll correct my faults. Excellence is won by training and habituation.

North Pt.2

After leaving Fernie, BC I hit the road by myself to drive further north than I have ever gone. I drove along an empty two-lane highway as the sun faded and the sky turned to pastel colors. The scene was set against a backdrop of the massive mountains creating the continental divide to my east. As I moved into the night towards an unknown destination I felt strong. I felt no fear as I travelled alone into a vast territory I had never imagined.

I spent a couple days kayaking with my friends Mitch, Zea, and other new friends deep in the middle of British Columbia. I had reunited with them many times during my time on the road and it was always nice to see familiar faces. Before long, our paths were diverging again and I made another solo trek west towards the Whistler area. I spent a night in the grasslands of central BC after driving down a long dirt road to nowhere. Sometimes it is fun to realize that no one on earth has any idea where you are and no way to find out. I gazed out into the Milky Way a long while before I falling asleep in the dirt.

The next day I completed my drive to Whistler and continued my habit of finding new friends to kayak with. Within a few hours I had found where the local kayakers congregate and had been accepted to camp with them. I thought this journey would be a lonely one, but my expectation couldn’t have been more wrong. I’ve made so many friends and many of them have profoundly changed the way I view the world. However, at a certain point meeting entirely new friend groups every few days gets exhausting and I was missing home. I didn’t let my fatigue stop me from my goals. My adventure was nearing its pinnacle and I wasn’t about to turn back now. In those few days near Whistler I accomplished more than I ever thought I would achieve in my career of kayaking. I paddled with some of the most skilled kayakers in the world on rivers renowned for their quality, danger, and remoteness. I paddled Fear Canyon and the Ashlu Creek with confidence in my abilities as I finished each run with style. It felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders as I knew the dangerous part of my trip had been completed and I could momentarily bask in my success.

As I drove towards my next adventure I reflected on my journey. Everyone has big dreams of things they want to do later in life. Many people put off their dreams and never end up doing what they really want to. It is an indescribable feeling to be able to live out those dreams in real time. I had a simple, yet bold vision for my summer. I was setting out to wherever the road lead me with intention to connect with as many people as I could, kayak the best whitewater in North America, and discover the wisdom I needed to find where the next phase of my life would lead me. I never thought I would be able to take my vision so far. The vision I created was for myself. Following through on the idea I created has given me a confidence in my power to shape my own life in any way I see fit.. The hardest part is finding out what you want to do and committing to it. Once you learn how you become the master of your own destiny. 

British Columbia

North

As soon as I had gotten comfortable where I was it was time to leave again. I drove into the north by myself with a loose idea of where I was going. As I travelled through Montana I caught glimpses of a wilderness that was foreign to me. One night I drove to the top of an old forest road and watch wildfires ravage an opposite ridgeline. It was a powerful experience to be alone in wild to witness such destructive forces of nature. I decided not to spend the night here so that I wouldn’t wake up in a blaze.

                Crossing the border into Canada began the pinnacle of my adventure this summer. Everything is bigger in British Columbia. The wilderness is more rugged, the rivers more intense, you feel more remote, and I can no longer rely on the support of cell reception. Soon I was alone in the town of Fernie looking to paddle the Elk River. The whitewater community came through for me again and before long I had made new friends to camp with. The Elk had been a dream of mine for a long time and it was incredible to be able to check it off the list. The waterfall was the highest single drop I had kayaked. Riding the force of the water driving off the lip of that waterfall and plummeting forty feet is a thrill that is hard to describe.

                I have come a long way on this trip. I’ve learned a lot and I’ve met some incredible people. This lifestyle has become who I am. For years I’ve dreamed of hitting the road by myself and chasing horizon lines. I’m living out my dreams every day as I travel without a safety net sleeping alone in remote settings through British Columbia. I’ve had to push myself outside of my comfort zone as part of my body craves a familiar sense of security. Sometimes it is hard not to turn back. It is worth it to keep pushing forwards as you gain something that cannot be taken away. A few months ago the idea of sleeping solo in the wilderness terrified me. Now I can comfortably sleep under the stars by myself as I let the cackles of nearby coyotes lull me to sleep.

Humans have an innate fear of what is unknown. Fear is a primitive emotion and most of the time it is unnecessary.  In our age fear does a better job at keeping one from living rather than keeping one alive. Awareness and good decision making are responsible for self-preservation. Fear holds you back by making you complacent to continue to experience what is familiar. To take hold of your life you must learn how to conquer your fears. The best parts of life lie beyond your comfort zone.

                 

North

True Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness can be elusive. Sometimes what you think will make you happy doesn’t and sometimes you find yourself in inexplicable good moods when it seems like nothing has changed. Lately I have been considering the conditions that contribute to finding fulfilling happiness.

                During this trip I have found myself happy for the longest time I have ever been. I had a vision of what I wanted my life to look like and as I have followed it has lead me to places that have far exceeded my high expectations. In my time spent in the town I have previously described I felt a deep sense of fulfilling happiness. My adventure lead me to this town where I found myself in a tight knit community, developed meaningful relationships, and pursued my passion for kayaking every day. I experienced sense of bliss in that space and time which I will never forget. After my experience with observing death the blissful moment had faded and the road was calling my name again. It is the nature of happiness to come in cycles of lows and highs.

                In my search for the underlying truths of happiness I was lead to some of the teachings of Aristotle that resonated with my experiences. Man’s happiness will lie in the full functioning of his human qualities. The achievement of human experiences will develop these qualities and lead to fulfilling happiness. These human experiences that I seek are not complex ones. It is the simple things in life that matter most. The thrill of venturing into the unknown, gazing at the stars pondering their vastness, the tender warmth of a lovers embrace, and persevering through a dangerous situation are the types of experience which I allude to.  The happiness to be gained from such distractions as social media or material wealth will never be as fulfilling.

                Happiness is most everyone’s end goal in life. “For we choose happiness for itself, and never for a view of anything further; whereas we choose honor, pleasure, intellect… because we believe that though them we shall be made happy” (Aristotle). Happiness is fostered by the middle ground of human qualities. “Between cowardice and rashness is courage; between sloth and greed is ambition, between humility and pride is modesty” (Will Durant). Happiness is found in moderation rather than indulgence. Happiness is experienced as pleasure of the mind rather than pleasure of the body. Let us not confuse the noble pursuit of happiness with the potentially unhealthy pursuit of pleasure. Friendship is perhaps the most important external aid to happiness. It has been said that happiness is only real when it is shared.

               Through this trip I have discovered my path to happiness. I now know what is important to me and what isn’t. With this knowledge I will go forwards to shape my life in the way that I see fit. I will continue to chase adventure, build meaningful relationships, challenge myself physically, develop myself mentally, and give back to those who I meet along the way. These are the things that make me happy.

The Man in the Red T-Shirt

While living life on the road I have gotten in the habit of saying yes to most opportunities for new and fun experiences that I am offered. When taking chances this way it can be hard to know what to expect so you just have to go with the flow and react to the situation as it changes. Sometimes things go better than you ever could have imagined and sometimes the opposite happens as well. What follows is a true story from what started to be an average day hanging around town.

                I had been having a lazy day in town. As I am solo on this trip now I will often lounge around the center of where people meet and wait for what happens next. As I was relaxing an old friend appeared and invited me on a booze cruise down the main section of a class III river. I couldn’t come up with a reason not to go so I agreed to join them. The craft we were to take was monstrosity stacked rafts strapped together four rafts high. The crew captaining this vessel was about twelve raft guides, my friend Kaylie, and I.

                Spirits were high and many beers were drank as we departed from shore and made our way through the start of the river. The raft guides were hospitable as we shared alcohol and laughs together. The stack of rafts teeter-tottered and felt quite unstable with so many people on top. As we successfully maneuvered the biggest rapid everyone shouted with joy. We may have gotten over confident with our abilities as we went for one of the most technical moves on the river which requires launching the whole ship over a pour over rock about 4 feet high. We launched alright, we hit it everyone tumbled out into the water. I had one of the most interesting flight as I was slingshotted out of the raft ten feet through the air landing head first and going deep under water. Everyone was recovered quickly and more alcohol and stories were shared. Everyone was ecstatic with the excitement of the trip.

                At this point we saw something was wrong. An empty cataraft was at the shore of the river with two men shouting at us. We could hardly make out what they were saying, but we managed to hear that a man had gone missing on the river. The man was wearing a red T-shirt and no life jacket. After hearing this news the tone of the trip changed immediately. This was no longer a cheerful booze cruise, it was now a search and rescue mission.

                The group of raft guides sprang to action immediately. We pulled to shore to break up the rafts so we could search and cover more river. It was hard to find direction of what to do as we had little information, many people trying to lead the situation, and the added element of impaired decision making. I had no voice of authority in the matter so I sat back and waited for the opportunity to help. Time had passed and it was now dark outside. We floated down river not knowing what we were looking for. For all we knew the man may have gotten himself to shore and hitchhiked back to town. The confusion was the hardest part.

                As we got close to the take out the confusion was cleared up. A policeman from the shore informed us the man had been found and he was not alright. As we arrived at the beach to take off the river I got a glimpse at the sight. A crew of fifteen or so volunteer rescue workers trudging through the thicket of the riverbank carrying the man in the Red T-shirt. The ground was illuminated by their head lamps and as they all struggled to make headway. It was a surreal sight to see as we floated by unable to help.

                We got to shore and witnessed a massive operation unfolding. There were many police cars, an ambulance, and a rescue helicopter landing in the parking lot. There was so much happening that I thought the best way to help was to stay out of the way. While I held on to a raft on the river bank I was called into action. The crew carrying the man had become exhausted and needed help to continue transporting him. I held the metal backboard by the left side of the man’s head and witnessed a lot at once. The man was dead and had an automated CPR machine working to revive him. There were massive lacerations to his head and blood covered his face. He was a middle aged obese man and the crew carrying him had to put in the extra effort to get him to the ambulance. I helped load him into the back and my part was over. The whole operation was over as the ambulance never even left the parking lot. He was past the point of saving. The man was dead and not twenty people working together could bring him back.

                We loaded our rafts to our trailer and made our way back to where we departed from. Everyone recounted our crazy experience as we made our way back. I remained silent. I had never been a part of a body recovery mission and I had no idea that it would have been that day. We got back and I decompressed by talking to my friend Kaylie for a while before making my way back to camp.

                It was only when I was alone that I was able to start processing what had really happened. The man had little experience, no safety equipment, and no fitness to help save him. He was unaware of the danger of the river and paid the price for his mistakes. The river can give so much and it will take it all away when it isn’t respected. What he thought would be a fun afternoon on the river turned into the last trip he would ever make. I learned that he was in town with another woman who I assumed to be his wife. She is the one that lost the most.

                As I have been kayaking more and more dangerous rivers I have been having mental battles considering my mortality. I knew I would witness something like this at some point and I dreaded the day that it would happen. There are many forces at play when you decide to spend a day on the river. The river is extremely powerful and tempts your fate as you choose to play on its surface. It is hard for us to look past that surface level to see the powers at play beyond our observations. Witnessing the effects of the river’s destructive powers made me feel small. I feel like I’m dancing a fine line on rivers I don’t really understand with consequences I have no grasp of either. After witnessing the reality of what a mistake can mean it is harder for me to rationalize what I do. The man’s loved ones are the ones that pay the real price of his mistake.

                As I fell asleep I imagined myself in that man’s position. I imagined paying the price for a negligent risk that could have been avoided as a crew of twenty trained rescuers fail to revive me. I imagined the news being brought to my loved ones. I thought about the man and his wife. I thought about the times my adventures could have ended with me in that ambulance. I thought about how I had felt so small in a world of risk and consequence that I don’t understand. I didn't sleep well that night.

                This experience was a terrible one, but not one that I regret having. It showed me how quickly lives can truly change on the river. It reminded me of the risks I take when I brave the unknown. I will continue to exercise maximum caution as I make my decisions. I didn’t know the man in the Red T-shirt, but I will never forget about him and the lesson he taught me. I hope he had a good life.

               

PNW

We left the town after a great week. It wasn’t easy after making so many friends in such a good community. We drove to Hood River, OR to kayak the truss with friends from last summer. It was awesome to be back hanging out with old friends in the place that I intend to live in the near future.

                For a few days we would wake up early, paddle the Truss, and find ways to waste our time the rest of the day. Every night we’d find new ways to set up our hammocks to sleep under the stars. Some friends we met in Idaho came paddle with us for a few days. It was fun to show them down the rivers that I know after they had shown me down their local runs.

                After many good days of kayaking Sam I and headed north to the Olympic Coast. We backpacked in through some of the most beautiful and unique landscapes in the country. As I arrived I put my feet in the water and felt a calm sense of accomplishment as I achieved my vision of starting the summer swimming in the Atlantic and driving all the way to the opposite ocean. I hung my hammock up on some large driftwood trees that had floated in from the sea. We had no sense of time as the sky was so hazy we couldn’t see the sun. This was the last big trip that Sam and I made together on this trip. We both became absorbed in thoughts of our experiences. I reflected on all the opposing forces of change that has shaped me into who I am.

                The community of dirtbag kayakers living in their cars traveling around the country is a special one. Rather than living in congested cities, these kayakers choose to chase the wild of living the river lifestyle. When you embraces this lifestyle, the road becomes your home. There are a few havens scattered across the country where these paddlers will congregate. The places to go are dictated by the water levels. Many of the friends I have met on this trip I have only known for only a few weeks, yet I feel like I’ve known many of them for years. When you share the river with someone your friendship grows quickly as you spend your days enjoying the best of times together all while knowing that it won’t last. I feel like I’m in between two worlds right now. I have lived my whole previous life so differently from this and I have left it behind. For now this is my life and this community is my new family. As I continue to move forward I will have to walk a fine line between these two worlds as both are extremely important to me.

                Sam and I exchanged goodbyes as I dropped him off at Portland Airport. As I drove away I felt a new determination to achieve everything that I’ve ever dreamed of. I am truly on my own now and I couldn’t be more excited. There is nothing stopping me from following the path in life that I have dreamed of. I feel full of confidence that I can do anything and be anything that I put my mind to.

Pacific Northwest

The Town

Somewhere in America exists a town that is truly unique. The town is comprised of one café, a couple raft guide companies, and one of these best rivers in the United States. The river is what brings people here and the community is what makes people stay. The majority of the working population of this town is comprised of raft guides in their early adulthood. The center of town is the café where everybody will lazily congregate when not working or kayaking. Time moves differently here. There is no cell phone reception here and therefore little need for technologies’ distractions.

It is a town of extremes. The down time spent in the café is contrasted by the thrill and fear of kayaking one of the most deadly sections of whitewater in America. The friendships formed here are also extreme in their own way. This is a place that fosters strong and deep connections with people you may never see again when the season on the river comes to a close. The town is a temporary home for those misfits of society that choose to spend their summers living broke, dirty, and happy.

The river is the lifeblood of this town. When the river is in season people flock from around the world to experience it. When it gets cold most people will leave. Friendships blossom from sharing the river together. People from all skill levels will kayak together and no one is excluded. At night people will camp together, share stories, and get wild. Memories are made that will last a lifetime.

From a surface level the town is pleasant, but doesn’t look like much. If you commit yourself to the lifestyle of wandering in pursuit of good people and fun water you will likely stumble upon this paradise. The few amount of people here is what makes this community special and why I will leave it unnamed. Like most wild and beautiful parts of the country it may fall victim to population growth. For now its luster remains.

This town has given me a lot. For the moment it felt like home. I’m grateful to have found it and to have been so generously included in the community. I will think back to my experiences here often as a guide of how I’d like to live my life in the future.

The Town

The Island

On the coast of Olympic National Park there exists many islands that lie beyond the shore. The resistance of the destructive powers of the ocean have created a unique juxtaposition. Thousands of years of erosion have pushed back the cliff line and scattered monolithic islands remain as gravestones to mark what once was. One island in particular captured my attention. Through the power of inertia, this island stands strong. Its seawards face is weathered and barren while its opposite side is full of life.  Strength and submission dictate the working forces of nature. The nature of water is to disintegrate anything in its path. The nature of stone is to remain unmoved. The nature of life seeks to grow and expand everywhere it can. These opposing forces work together in harmony to produce a work of art. A living, unlikely, and temporary beauty to behold. 

Risk vs. Reward

I’ve been taking many risks lately. I’ve gone mountaineering with no gear. I’ve kayaked the North Fork of the Payette and had a scary flip. I’ve been kayaking the truss and have gotten beat up and swam. I’ve run lower mesa falls with with little safety. Driving across the country is a risk too.

                I risk shoulder injury, back injury, drowning, falling to death, and many more possible outcomes. I live on the edge and mistakes are very costly. Putting myself on the line has become the routine. The progression  is higher, faster, and bigger. How big will I go before I must turn away? Do I have the ability to save a friend when they depend on me? Will it ever be my turn to witness tragedy?

                On the river you don’t get many second chances. Every time you lose control you submit yourself to your fate on the river. This danger is the allure. When kayaking it is never you against the river. The river is a platform for you to battle yourself. When you put in to kayak a dangerous river you must be prepared physically and mentally. The river will test your bravery, skills, and resolve. You must have the right gear, skills, and crew. When things start to go wrong you have to pull yourself out of a bad mental space to make sure you can finish the run unharmed. Most of the time you can walk around the waterfall in front of you, but walking a waterfall you intended to do is a submission to yourself. By walking you submit that you aren’t as good as you thought you were. You have to be honest with your abilities. There isn’t much room for egos when lives are on the line.

                What are the possible rewards? The feeling of triumph from conquering yourself. The strength that is built from continually testing yourself in the face of danger. The comradery developed with those that choose to test themselves with you and trust you with their life if things were to spiral out of their control. The discovery of what it feels like to be alive.

                This lifestyle has given me so much. It has given me great friendships, unforgettable experiences, and transformative reflections. If I hadn’t found kayaking I fear I’d be struggling with the questions I have been able to start answering now.

 Is the risk worth it? I don’t have the ability to answer that. Why do I take these risks then? The idea of not pursuing my dreams and living my life to its potential is almost as scary as dying.

Dirtbags

                Living in Jackson Wyoming is a rare breed of youth. Abandoning conventional living standards these renegades choose to live out of their cars rather than pay the expensive rent of property in a resort town. They take up seasonal work filling the positions of guides, shop workers, and waiters to serve the wealthy tourists that flock to Jackson in the summertime. Money is often tight, yet these are some of the happiest people I have encountered with their work. In their free time these Jackson dirtbags spend their time adventuring in the amazing landscape surrounding Jackson. The mountains, rivers, and close friendships make it all worth it. Not everyone knows what their next step is, but they know life is good in the moment. 

Matt

Porter

Jacob

Claire

Laura

Jameson

Wyoming

              Two weeks into the road trip and time is starting to go more quickly. Our second major stop in the trip landed us in Jackson, Wyoming. The drive from Colorado to Wyoming consisted of some of the vastest landscapes we had ever seen. There were only a couple of small towns that we encountered on our nine hour drive. Our next stop will be Yellowstone for a day hike and then Idaho for more kayaking.

                Our only plans when arriving in Jackson were to go backpacking in the Tetons before moving on. Plans changed when we walked into Rendezvous paddle shop and discovered a close knit paddling community that were quick to show us down some of the best local runs. They introduced us to the local community of young dirtbags who work during the day and live out of their cars by night. We fit right in. Big shout out to Porter, Matt, and everyone else in the Rendezvous crew for the hospitality.

                The Grand Tetons are always a presence around Jackson. We spent a few nights sleeping under the stars on a ridge overlooking the Tetons before exploring them by foot. We went backpacking in Garnet Canyon and stayed at a camp spot called the caves. We were lucky enough to get the whole campsite to ourselves. The second day we climbed to the lower saddle, the highest part of the Tetons that we could reach without rope. What I thought would be a casual day hike turned into a minor mountaineering expedition. We found walking sticks that we used as ice picks to cross large snow passes. Getting to the top required following a loose trail, climbing through vast alpine boulder fields, and making some sketchy snow passes. Towards the top everyone else at the base camp was decked out in gear. We looked out of place with our hiking boots and sticks. Getting down proved to be the real adventure as I decided to slide hundreds of feet down a very steep slope covered in snow. We missed our target path and found ourselves in a survival situation as we had slid down to a sketchy rock island over a massive cliff. The way back required blazing a trail through steep snow and ice patches where a slip could result in a 300 foot plunge. We remained calm and did what we needed to do. Without any protective gear and only a stick to balance myself, I kicked foot holds in the snow and crossed step by step towards safety. Falling was not an option, but certainly a possibility. Once Sam and I had reached safety we reflected upon our encounter with serious danger. The mountain had gained my respect. I won’t underestimate the dangers of the alpine again.

                I’ve had a lot of time to think during the past week. The nature of my experience has taught me things that people from home may have a hard time to relate to. The wild nature of my lifestyle is showing me parts of me I never knew existed. Men are part wild animal and part intellectual. Our intellect separates us from the animals that we think ourselves to be far superior, but a man is still an animal. We have built a society to tame ourselves. I want to experience this wild inside of me. I feel alive as I dance with the danger of the river in my kayak. I feel the fire pushing me to survive as a slip and scramble up a snowy cliff overhanging certain death. I feel the simple pleasure of falling asleep under the stars as the breeze lightly flows through my hair. These raw experiences make me feel human, it makes me understand what I am. I can’t describe these simple truths that I am discovering any more than one can describe the feeling of being in love. It is something you have to experience for yourself and it doesn’t come easy. I can’t find real meaning in distractions we have created to entertain us in society. I think it is ironic that people call our working adult society “the real world”. The world I am experiencing is more real than anything else I have ever been a part of. 

One day soon I will rejoin the workforce as a contributing member of society. Not yet though, I have much more to learn. When I do come back it will be with purpose and it will be under my own terms.

Most Pictures Taken by Sam Lupo. Insta: @fruitlupsfordinner

Wyoming

Colorado

We have been on the road a little over a week now. It seems so long since we have left Maryland. We’ve been travelling around Colorado paddling and camping everywhere we stop. We’ve been meeting friendly people everywhere we go while camping around Boulder, Buena Vista, and Denver. The whitewater community is great out here and we’ve been lucky enough to find good crews with which we’ve paddled the Bailey, Clear Creek, and Numbers. We also took a day to climb Mt. Elbert, the tallest mountain in the Rockies. Today we leave from Colorado to Wyoming with intention to backpack our Nation’s finest natural landscapes.

Plans are made only a day in advance as we travel. We know where we want to go, but never know what we’ll discover when we get there. I feel alive on the road. This feeling of freedom is unparalleled to anything I’ve experienced before. As the first phase of the trip is over I have the sense that I am entering into a world much larger than myself.

This trip isn’t only about me. By truly living and sharing the excitement that comes with adventure with those around me I feel as if I’m beginning to contribute to a greater human experience. I’m no longer a voyeur to my own life trapped in my routine. I’m living life right now. 

Leaving

Today I am leaving for a road trip that I have planned for years. I will be leaving home and this time I won’t be coming back to stay. The plan for this trip is to kayak and backpack the best places that this country has to offer then settle down where I see fit. I will leave Maryland with my car packed with everything I could need for two months of adventuring on the road. I’ll be accompanied by one of my best friends Sam. We’ll begin our trip by going to Colorado and after that nothing is certain.  I don’t know where the trip will take us or how it will shape who I am. It is my unknowing that drives me to go. I learn the most about myself when pushing my boundaries and leaving my comfort zone. This will be by far my biggest step yet. As I leave the east coast, I leave my previous life and almost everyone I have ever known.

 I want to create my own path moving forwards and not to follow the path that has been laid out before me. It would have been safer for me to commit to getting a job in a city to start my career early and in no way am I criticizing those that do. For me it didn’t make sense though. I know there is more to life for me that I have to experience outside the bounds of my familiar life on the east coast. I have been fortunate enough to get the opportunity to follow my vision through the support of my family and to them I am eternally grateful.  

The beginning of my journey won’t be a commute to work. My beginning will be a pursuit of genuine human experience as I meet people and adventure around the best natural playgrounds that our country has to offer. I will be planning for the future as well as I live in the moment day to day. I will get to experience freedom in its purest form as I roam. Humans weren’t built to live plush lives indoors.

 I don’t want to pretend that I’m not putting myself in danger because I am. The biggest rewards in life aren’t the ones that come safely. I enjoy living on the edge not only for the thrill, but also because of what it teaches me about life. I must take my risks carefully because the potential consequences are real and I’m not invincible. Overcoming a dangerous situation through my skills and wit makes me feel strong. It lets me feel the excitement and emotions that humans are evolutionarily meant to experience. The strong survive and I will survive.  

Things will be different. I’ll miss home. I’ll miss family and friends. It is time for me to go though. I must become a man and this is something that I must earn. There are so many great people in my life that I wish I could have gotten more time with before leaving. I won’t forget those who I have left behind and I hope to give back to those that I meet along the way. I’ll keep posting my stories for those that care for what I have to share.

It is time to see what I can make of myself on my own.